Why Be Happy When You Could Be Normal by Jeanette Winterson

This is a deeply personal book and I was not surprised when I read at the end that it had been written in real time. Winterson’s emotions are so raw and so uncompromising that it couldn’t have been any other way. At times I felt voyeuristic, looking into the torment of feelings that she goes through, but I came away admiring her enormously for the honesty of her struggle, her clear sighted view of herself (through all the doubt and confusion that every human being suffers) and her absolute almost bloody minded determination to survive. So it’s not an easy book to read: a book of self searching and self analysis interspersed with illustrative narrative about her life with the dreadful Mrs Winterson. Mrs Winterson reminds me very much of one of my aunts with slight hints of my own mother, so for me she is a very believable person. And despite the horror of her, all through the story you can see that both the young Jeanette and the older one still love her and are desperate to be loved back. Reflections again of family relationships I know well.

The Hare With Amber Eyes by Edmund de Waal

This is the sort of book you might want to read a couple of times over. I am surprised it is so popular because it is not a quick and easy read: it’s a book that requires attention and thought. Edmund de Waal is tracing his family history, using the collection and passing on of Japanese netsuke as the thread. The Ephrussi family began in Poland, moved to Odessa and as grain merchants then became bankers and then moved to Paris and Vienna. The netsuke were collected by art connoisseur and bon vivant Charles Ephrussi, passed on to his cousin as a wedding gift, saved during the holocaust by the family maid, passed on to the writer’s great grandmother and from her to his great uncle Iggie and finally inherited by him. It’s a fascinating story of the family, of the times they lived in – for example Charles was friends with Renoir, with Proust, his circle contains every important name of the period – and the people who were in Viktor’s circle in Vienna were similarly famous. I’ve read a few holocaust accounts as well, but this one was very moving because it was so deeply personal and painful. The story also underscored the long-standing nature of anti-Semitism: this didn’t start with Hitler and that’s something we tend to forget I think. But the anti-Semitism part of it was only part, and there’s a lot more to this history than that. I liked this book a lot. I struggled to concentrate on it for some of the time, especially at the beginning (not helped by reading it on a kindle while travelling, hateful mechanism) but the effort was worthwhile.

Queen Lucia by EF Benson

This is an utterly delightful satire of middle class pretension written in the 1920s. It’s of the same ilk as Crome Yellow but on a more domestic and perhaps I should say more bitchy scale. It deals with Lucia, who is the ‘queen’ of her small village out of London and her devoted friend Georgie and the circle of other middle class village dwellers who she has revolving around her every whim. Lucia is the one that sets the standard, the one who everybody wants to impress, the one who arrives last at every event to make then wait. She’s a little like Hyacinth Bucket. In this story another lady moves into the area and the trouble begins as Lucia is unwittingly outclassed and outmanoeuvred by the new arrival. It made me laugh out loud in so many places – EF Benson has a deft hand and understated witty style that I just adored.

The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Anchor

Lidija lent me this book and it is a motivational type exercise written by a psychologist/corporate trainer about the power of positive psychology. Here’s the thing though: it’s great. A lot of the things he talks about actually work because I use them and I know they work.

So he talks about things like writing down three good things that happened to you each day. If you do this for as little as a week it can affect your view of the world for up to three months. Alternatively write about positive experiences three times a week for twenty minutes. Same result.

We all take the path of least resistance so it is very easy not to do the things we know make us feel good. So you put the desired behaviour right in your path – lay your gym clothes out and get into them the moment you get up. Then it’s too much trouble to take them off again so you go to the gym. Get healthy snacks prepared in the fridge so it’s easy to get them. Etc.

Conversely apply the twenty second rule: put temptation twenty seconds out of reach. Put the TV remote batteries away, put the chocolates in a cupboard downstairs. Etc.

Think about something happy right before a stressful or difficult situation: your performance will improve markedly.

Proven ways to elevate happiness:

1 Meditation, 5 minutes a day is enough
2 Find something to look forward to and give yourself bursts of pleasure by thinking about it
3 Do conscious acts of kindness: go out of the house determined to do five kind things before coming home
4 Infuse positivity into your surroundings: 20 minutes outside on a lovely day; watch less TV; beautify your physical environment
5 Exercise
6 Spend money on activities like concerts, meals with friends, instead of things
7 Exercise your signature strengths (www.viasurvey.org)

Change your mindset: find a positive way of describing whatever you do, especially things you find tedious eg look at the task, its purpose, its results and keep doing that until you find a result that is meaningful to you.

So much of this is common sense, but do we always apply common sense to the things we do?

The Lost of Art of Gratitude by Alexander McCall Smith

Isabel and Jamie continue in their life together. You know, not much happens in these books. I might give up on them. In this one, she gets taken for a ride by Minty Aucherlochtie who uses her as a go between to frighten some men who are giving her a hard time. For the rest of it, it’s philosophical musings.

The Comfort of Saturdays by Alexander McCall Smith

Isabel’s life continues, as she dithers around about her relationship with Jamie and is stitched up by her perceived ethical responsibilities in terms of having a relationship with a much younger man. She tries to help a doctor who has been unethical in his conduct in reporting test results for a new drug, but the real focus of this story is more on Isabel and her musings than anything else. I am enjoying her books though.

The Call by Yannick Murphy

This is a charming book that I read between 11pm and 2.30am yesterday when I couldn’t sleep. It’s a sort of diary made by a country vet on the east coast of America, a record of his thoughts as he deals with calls out, his wife and family, and then a couple of major problems that beset him with his twelve year old son and another man – called the Spaceman – from his past. It’s a delightful book and a very quick and easy read.